Start with a Roommate,
End Up with a Lifelong Friend
Sharing a room with someone is similar to other relationships - to be
successful requires openness, flexibility, & respect. Here are some basics
to get you started, along with some tips on calling
your new roommate over the summer, and a
sample roommate bill of rights.
YOUR ROOM
It’s a place to sleep, study and live. Yet the room can be much more. It might be the gathering place on your floor, a haven for intellectual thought or a place to relax. To a large extent, the quality of life in your room will depend on the relationship developed between you and your roommate.
YOU
You are an individual possessing a wide range of characteristics and interests. You have your own habits, opinions, likes and dislikes. Your family background, career plans, cultural and ethnic identity, religious affiliation, and personal abilities add up to your unique individuality.
YOUR ROOMMATE
Like you, your roommate is a unique individual. The same elements that make you unique apply to your roommate. We all have our own opinions and attitudes. Some of your attitudes and values may be challenged. Think about your own values and how they affect your behavior. Your roommate may have diverse values which impact on his/her behavior.
BACKGROUND
Shenandoah University is a place of great
diversity. You must strive to understand the individual differences of those
around you, especially your roommates. As you engage in daily activities and
interaction, you must possess a genuine desire to learn from others and be open
to new ideas and experiences
Talk to each other about your backgrounds, so that you may understand where your
roommate is coming from. Some areas you may want to discuss:
Family. You may be from a large, boisterous family. Your roommate may be use to
living in a quieter environment and may be from a small family.
Geographic Origin. You are either from a rural, urban, suburban, or foreign
community and probably quite accustomed to the way of living.
Religious Views. You may practice your faith within the Protestant, Judaic,
Catholic, Islamic or other tradition. Your religious faith may be an important
significant role in your roommate’s life.
Cultural/Ethnic Differences. You may be from a community with a lot of ethnic
diversity. Your roommate’s hometown may be more homogeneous.
THINGS TO DISCUSS IN YOUR SUMMER PHONE CALLS
In establishing a comfortable living arrangement with your roommate, it may help
to write down mutual expectations. A written agreement can provide a basis from
which to renegotiate as your relationship changes. Some issues to clarify
verbally, if not in writing, are:
1. Study time in the room: When will it be? What days? What hours? Will the
stereo or TV be on? Volume?
2. Guests: When can there be guests? How long can they stay?
3. Use of personal property: What can be shared? What can’t be shared? Must
permission be given?
4. Telephone: Where should messages be written? How will bills be paid?
5. Cleaning rooms: How often will the room be cleaned? Who will do it? What are
your definitions of clean and messy?
6. Privacy: How much privacy is needed? How often? How long?
7. Space: How much space is needed? Where will things be stored?
8. Social events: How frequent? What time? Who will clean up?
9. Security? When will the doors be locked? When will it be left open?
10. What do you like to do? Are there interests that can be shared?
Your enjoyment of life in the residence halls
will depend, to a large extent, on the thoughtful consideration you demonstrate
for your roommate and your neighbors. Basic rights of a roommate include the
following
1. The right to a clean living environment.
2. The right to expect that a roommate will respect one’s personal belongings.
3. The right to resolve grievances. Residence Life staff are available for
assistance in settling conflicts.
4. The right to read and study free from undue interference in one’s room.
Unreasonable noise and other distractions inhibit the exercise of this right.
5. The right to sleep without undue disturbance from noise, roommate’s guests,
etc..
6. The right to free access to one’s room and facilities without pressure from a
roommate.
7. The right to personal privacy.
8. The right to be free from fear or intimidation and physical and emotional
harm.
9. The right to have guests during guest hours with the exception that the
guests are to respect the rights of the host/hostess’s roommate and other hall
residents
10. The right to expect reasonable cooperation in the use of the room telephone.
11. The right to a smoke-free environment unless another agreement is reached.
REMEMBER: To be a mature adult is to accept responsibility for the welfare of
others. Only you can assure that your roommate employs these rights